Cherishing the Panic!

Tuesday, November 01, 2011

Well…we’re moved.  With the assistance of a couple of family friends, we made the 450-mile trek from Northern to Southern California.  We ended up with a 26 foot UHaul as well as an additional 8 by 12 trailer pulled behind the larger truck!  Good God!  Happy to be here; Happy to have such incredible friends; and Happy I hung onto enough of my sanity to be writing this morning!  Now all I have to do is adjust….hmmmm….

I am finding it extremely disconcerting to wake-up and discover myself in an incredibly different reality.  The everyday “touchstones” that have defined my existence are gone - the drive to work, my interaction with the usual “suspects,” the never-ending list of “to-do’s,” the house to which I’m used to coming home, the routines within the home, the familiar community and “haunts”…no job description…no life description….it’s definitely a jolt to the system.  It’s an interesting sensation….one could panic if she didn’t have dogs to walk! 

 A few months ago, I read the transcript of an Archangel Metatron channeling which described what happens when we physically die - including the choices that we may have.  (Prior to this, I have read many accounts of the experiences of people who have had near-death experiences.  Many share that they saw a great light and navigated toward that light.)  In this particular channeling, it was stated that when a person “dies” they enter a dark void…a void that exists only of consciousness and all possibility.  Most people panic when they find themselves “bodiless” and in such dense darkness.  Therefore, they head toward the first light that appears.  Metatron shared in this particular communication that these lights are portals back into “life” – which I guess makes sense considering the experiences people have shared regarding the light….and then “living” to tell about it.  Metatron shared that we also have the choice to “take our time” and relish this realm of pure consciousness and possibility – and then make an aware decision as to our next experience.  The Archangel’s message definitely gave me something to ponder…and has gifted me with some seemingly related insights and analogies…

For instance, I sense the space in which I currently find myself to be similar to this “void we enter after physical death.”  As I awaken in totally different surroundings without familiar reference points, I recognize there are choices presenting themselves.  One, I could panic and scurry to grab the first position that presents itself.  (It’s scary to be “role-less” and “guilt” is “chomping at the bit!”)  If I choose to do this, I am fairly certain I will end up in a position with dynamics very similar to the one I just completed.  Not allowing myself to debrief, complete and re-define myself will land me in my own “Groundhog Day.”  Two, I can choose to take advantage of the time I have been given in order to debrief, grieve, complete and celebrate which will clear the space for me to dream, newly define and originally create, “Karrie.”  (When I put it this way, there seems to be only one obvious choice!)

So….today, I will take a couple of deep breaths, release a few heavy sighs, shed a few tears, laugh at some memories, celebrate my accomplishments and allow myself to enjoy my time in my own little “void”….right after I walk the dogs that is. :-)

Much love,

Karrie