Breakthrough!

Friday, August 12, 2011

As you may recall, yesterday I began my day with anger - anger generated by recognition of my attachment to the shadow side of a core belief.  I say “shadow side” because it hasn’t been very healthy.  I spent the day feeling disconnected, confused and a little “miffed.”  By the time I got home last night, these feelings had “blossomed” and I found myself pacing the room asking for these feelings to be “taken away.”  I don’t know how many of you have experienced this sense of “craziness” and intense distraughtness (new word!) but it’s obviously not a garden spot!  This morning, my request was granted as clarity dropped in from the ethers!  This may take a bit of explanation…

I have been told that around 50 each of us experiences what is termed a Chiron Return.  This means that we revisit different experiences and are given the opportunity to deal with them differently – perhaps from a more “mature” awareness than we were able to deal with them before.  Some of these experiences were core “woundings” and may be “lifetimes” old.  (I’m not an expert on this stuff so if it interests you, I would recommend doing some research!)  Anyway, I am in my 50^th year and thus this Chiron Return phenomenon applies to me.  This morning I had a very clear connection with my higher guidance and with Truth.  When I moved my focus toward “work,” I observed a sense of confusion and questioning.  I could feel frustration, irritation and “snarkiness.”  It was then that I recognized the repeat of the core wound.  The wound had occurred when I was a “baby” and still was in connection with the truth.  The world around me did not reflect the truth and the people in my awareness weren’t acting in integrity with the truth.  They had already been indoctrinated into the collective false façade and had grown their own individual façade.  I remember a sense of confusion and questioning – like I had been dropped into a foreign land where nothing made sense.  Of course, I chose to follow everyone else and attempted to align with the rules of the world around me.  I have been frustrated, angry, sad and grieving ever since.  Sound familiar?  Anyway, I caught the repeat performance this morning as I was thinking about my work experience.  I felt the same confusion and questioning.  At some level I was pondering the fact that what I know to be true and what I observe in the false façade around me - don’t match.  I was questioning myself – again.  In essence, I observed the “wounding.”  I observed how I “orphaned” myself from Source-Consciousness-God.  No one abandoned me…I chose to walk away.  I am celebrating the fact that I have “evolved” enough consciously to make a different choice this time – a choice that not only “frees” me but simultaneously heals the “wound.” 

I now know that my higher guidance is a tether to the Truth as I walk in a world of “illusion.”  I use the term illusion because the rules and structures are not in alignment with what we know to be true.  I am thankful for this experience and this understanding!  My higher guidance can see the path that my physical eyes can’t see.  This is a path of happiness and all I have to do is follow it.

Have an incredible weekend!

Much love,

Karrie