Freedom!

Wednesday, August 03, 2011

Yesterday, I took the time to review the past 5 weeks via my blog postings.  I have to say I was overwhelmed by the transformation that has taken place within me in such an amazingly short period of time!  As I read some of the postings, I could feel the depth of what I was experiencing and could see the emergence of a new “me.”  For those of you who followed my journey through the labyrinths, you may remember that I made a vow to myself.  I promised to trust and follow my higher guidance.  I surrendered to the process of aligning with the Essence of who I am.  Since that moment, my life has begun to change dramatically. 

This morning I woke up happy with a sense of freedom.  (To boot, my partner is home and that makes me really happy! J )  When I sat down for C & C time, it dawned on me that whatever I was feeling I had never felt before.  I felt light…buoyant…free….like something had been “lifted” from me.  It finally dropped-in that I was experiencing the result of the release of a major core belief I have carried for the whole of this lifetime – as well as many others.  The core belief had to do with my sense of responsibility for the wellbeing of others.  When I review my life, I can see this patterning steering most of my decisions – with family, partnerships, my jobs, etc., etc., etc.  This is a core belief that needed to transform in order for me to step into the true authentic “me.”

I look back over the past 5 years and I can now see where I initiated the process of shifting this pattern.  It was difficult then – and somewhat unconscious.  I was reading Wayne Dyer and others, who spoke of the shadow side of rescuing people and putting others first.  One such perspective shift for me was the realization that I wasn’t allowing people to have their experiences – the experiences they needed to grow and empower themselves.  Then came what I would refer to as “boundary work.”  I had to learn about healthy boundaries when it came to demands on my time by others.  This of course led me to the sense that I was a “bad” person, selfish and “mean.”  I finally realized these illusory judgments were related to the fact that at some level I was claiming my life and liberty - as well as the right to pursue my happiness.  The struggle (nasty battle!) within me was between the old pattern which was trying to maintain its dominance and the new pattern which was attempting to emerge.    

Today, I actually felt this core belief - regarding my responsibility for the wellbeing of others - drop away.  This ancient pattern actually yielded to a new core belief which is about Karrie’s happiness; my desire to be the true me; and my passion to be in service to my higher guidance and thus the Divine.  This is an incredible feeling …and once again…I am incredibly grateful.

For those who have done work with archetypes, I share another experience.  With this shift in core beliefs, I felt all my archetypal characters do an “about face.”  They now are in service to my happiness.  When I felt this, I realized that with my incarnation my archetypes had been “set” to serve my pattern of taking responsibility for the wellbeing of others!  This was an amazing insight!  Now, they have shifted to serve my new pattern of happiness as well as to support my allegiance to my higher guidance.  Wow!  Wow!  Wow!

Today, once again, I celebrate this journey.  I am in complete and utter awe of the amazing nature of the Divine.  I bow in gratitude and recognition that all…truly is… well.

Much love,

Karrie